I turned 33 on the 3rd and that is exactly why today’s post is titled as such, because I have zero creative juices. Lol.
Before we get into today’s post, I’mma explain why there were two guest posts last month. I usually put up guest posts on the third Wednesday of the month unless it clashes with an immovable date on my content calendar. But if a month has five Wednesdays, case in point July 2020, I put up the guest post on the fourth Wednesday instead of the third one. But never have I ever put up two guest posts back-to-back before last month, a fact that might not have escaped the attention of eagle-eyed readers.
I had a post planned for the 29th but my uncle died suddenly on the 24th and just like that the blog was no longer a priority. Lucky for me Lymurit, who wrote last week’s incredible guest post that you can check out here, was able to save the day. I initially wanted to put up Lymurit’s guest post on the 22nd but unfortunately I was not able to connect with her on time. Lucky for me the lovely Emmah Kithinji allowed me to repurpose her beautiful, well-written open letter to working mums that you can check out here if you have not yet read it.
At first I was not going to put up a post on the 29th as I would be in Nakuru for my uncle’s funeral that day. But when I thought about it some more I realised the fact that I have consistently put up a blog post every Wednesday for almost two years is not something I should take lightly. So rather than have no post, I decided to do something unprecedented and have two back-to-back guest posts. While we are on the subject, let me take a minute to say that I do not use the word excellent easily but Lymurit’s guest post is excellent. I fell in love with it – HARD – at first read because sis can wriiiiite!!! It is not often I read someone’s work and think that when I grow up I want to write like them, but that is exactly what happened when I read Lymurit’s post. If you liked the post and want to check out more of her work, please visit https://medium.com/@lymurit
Now back to today’s post. I am really into numerology and so I was excited about turning 33 because three is my original favourite number – it is now 420, lol – and also because I think there is something really special and significant about double digits. One of my cousins, while sending me a birthday message, said she hoped the double digits signified double blessings. She then went on to add that she hoped it came with triple blessings seeing as I was turning 33 on the 3rd and just amen to that aki.
Also, now that I am 33 I am currently five years older than my boyfriend and I am going to remind him of that fact every single day until his birthday next month. Lol.
I learnt to love my birthday from my mother so for my entire life August 3rd has always been a big fucking deal to me. This year my birthday fell on a Monday (meh!) so even pre-pandemic I was tentative about having a big birthday blowout. In fact, in my post Lwile’s Birthday Extravaganza that I put up on my blogiversary last year, I pretty much acknowledged the fact that my 32nd birthday would probably be my last big birthday blowout for some time. And then the pandemic happened and all big birthday blowouts are cancelled this year. As they should be because it is up to each one of us to do our bit to flatten the curve. So I did not bother to make any plans for my birthday this year and was not expecting anything on the day besides well wishes via social media/texts/calls.
Adelle, who got the cake connect from her big sister, had no idea that “Estrella” was my desk mate in high school and aki such little coincidences always do so much to warm my heart. Estrella also did my sister’s 30th birthday cake and I can guarantee that both cakes tasted every bit as delicious as they looked.
On August 1, 2018 I was feeling so down because birthmonth had just checked in and in two days I would be celebrating my first birthday without the woman who taught me to love birthdays. I shared my feelings on Instagram:
Estrella saw my post and sent me this DM:
Not only is she extremely talented in her craft, but she is also such a nice person so if you would like to place an order with her, feel free to hit her up on 0721 740567.
As mentioned in The Butterfly, in the final months of my 32nd year writing has really felt like a chore and I no longer derive the same satisfaction from the blog like I did in 2019. So when I get texts/DMs/IG comments from readers applauding my work and/or being excited for what is to come, I feel like a bit of fraud. The pandemic is a major contributor the disappearance of my writing mojo, but it would be a lie to say that I have not played a part as well. I have been feeling uninspired for months now but instead of fighting that lack of inspiration, I have sat with it, made peace with it and invited it into my life. Something’s gotta give because I owe it to myself and my readers to reignite the fire inside me, whatever it takes, as I navigate my way in our new normal.
So I am working on getting my groove back in my 33rd year because I am not as driven as I can be when it comes to my writing (2019 anyone?) and I am doing my blog a great disservice as a result. This is especially important because on August 22nd I am opening a Facebook page for the blog to coincide with my two year blogiversary. For two years Lwile the Leo has grown organically and I am looking forward to see which heights it can reach when I start doing sponsored posts on Facebook. Having sponsored posts will give the blog more exposure and with increased readers will come increased haters. Sweardown right now all the feedback I get for my blog is positive but I am not naïve enough to think that as the blog grows things will stay the same. So I am hoping that if I put up quality work that I am proud of, a troll’s comment(s) will not hurt as much because I am confident in my art.
As I conclude I want to say a big thank you to everyone reading this who wished me a happy birthday via social media/texts/calls. May the fact that I turned 33 on the 3rd come with triple blessings for me this year. Let the crowd say amen!