In an alternate universe I would definitely get Post Malone’s Always Tired tattoo. Right under the eyes as well. Tired is my constant mood.
If I had to pinpoint the source of my fatigue I would say it is my job. It is, as Beyoncé put it, the 9 to 5 just to stay alive.
We break for Christmas on Friday 21st at 2 p.m. and I cannot fucking wait.
I am good at what I do and I continually kick major ass at work. But my job no longer fulfils me. I can do any and all tasks assigned to me with my eyes closed. I am super smart so I tend to learn new things really quickly. I am also a very ambitious person. Fewer things give me more pride than smashing the goals I set for myself. I need to be consistently challenged and provided with opportunities to learn and grow otherwise I get bored real quick. I know it is up to you to seek out said opportunities as ultimately you are the one responsible for your career. But you cannot grow without support from your organisation. It needs to recognise your ambition and reward your goal-smashing with greater responsibility. For some reason my organisation is not doing their part as I have been doing the same shit for almost three years now. And for someone like me who is super smart and very ambitious, doing the same thing over and over and over feels like a slow death.
Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.
That was said by the inimitable Steve Jobs. I have decided to take his advice so I am currently working on my “what next?” I do not know just yet if it will be an organisation exit or an industry exit. But what I do know is I can no longer carry on like this. Having to show up at the office and work on yet another media plan is killing my spirit.
My tiredness has become such a thing I cannot make plans for two weekends in a row. If I have a busy weekend on week A, I am not leaving the house the weekend of week B. Nor can I make plans on both days of the weekend. If I have to leave the house on Saturday I do not leave my door the next day. Not like I usually leave the house on Sunday anyway. That is my day to cook and catch up on my TV shows. The only thing that can probably get me out of the house on Sunday is brunch at Brew Bistro.
I attended the twelfth edition of Biko Zulu’s Creative Writing Masterclass where he gave us three tips on being a great writer:
- Write (at least 200 words daily)
- Read (to study and to steal)
- Have fun (it must not feel like work)
The grand maester, Oyunga Pala, gave a guest lecture on the final day of class and added one more tip:
4. Live life
His emphasis was that if you do not live life you will not have any interesting stories to tell. If I am always rushing home after work to do nothing, and on weekends I am extremely reluctant to leave the house, how will I have any interesting stories to tell? This blog will be boring AF if I am simply existing, not living.
Write. Read. Have Fun. Live Life … definitely my 2019 mantra.