Merry? Christmas

Christmas is my absolute favourite day of the year. One reason I look forward to having a home of my own one day is because Christmas will be an event.

An ex of mine knew how much Christmas means to me so he called me at midnight to officially ask me to be his girlfriend. How romantic!! Though now that I think about it, spending our yearly anniversaries together would not be possible as Christmas is a day usually spent with family. We dated briefly in university so obviously we were not at the stage where we could spend Christmas with each other’s families. But, semantics.

One reason I love Christmas so much is because ever since 1989 my family has been spending the day at Carnivore. When we were younger we used to go for lunch. As we got older it became dinner. Then when my half-siblings became parents it went back to lunch. I have the fondest memories of playing on the swings with my siblings and cousins when I was younger. I lived for the moment when lunch was over and we were given permission to go play. Before that during the meal Santa would come around and give a gift to all children under 12. Opening the gift to reveal its contents would fill me with such glee. I remember when I turned 13 and did not receive a gift but my younger siblings still got … the jealousy!! Those are some of the things that suck about being a firstborn. You are the first to be above age for a lot of things your siblings get/do that you still find cool.

Another reason I love Christmas is how pretty the decorations are. I love love love the Christmas lights displays in the malls. I love the decked out Christmas trees with the faux gifts beneath. I remember as children we would go with my mum to see the lights display at the Sarit Centre as, being one of the first malls in Kenya, they had such a grand display.

My Christmas tradition is to ease into the day by watching Love Actually between the last hours of Christmas Eve and the first hours of Christmas Day. What could be better than starting my favourite day with a movie that has nine intertwined romantic stories set around Christmas? Nothing. The answer is absolutely nothing.

Sadly this year’s holiday is what both my head and heart feel is the first Christmas without my mum. Last year around 11 p.m. on Christmas Eve is when I was getting home from burying my mum. I was literally starting day one without her on Christmas Day. My new reality was still so unreal. I knew my mum was dead last Christmas but she did not feel dead in any way, shape or form. This year is when it is dawning on me that my favourite person will never again be with me on my favourite day. And that makes me really sad.

So I want to be my self by myself this Christmas. The plan is to drink really good wine. I have a (read three) Colombard(s) in the fridge that I am very excited to try for the first time. I also have a carton of other wines on standby. Lol. Wine, ice cream and Christmas movies on my beautiful 55” 4K TV ni form. I plan to watch The Christmas Chronicles, The Holiday Calendar, The Princess Switch, A Christmas Prince and Love Actually. In that order.

Also, can you imagine this is the penultimate post? Woohoo!!!

Happy holidays to you and yours!

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