Next week at this time, right down to the minute, my mum will have been dead for one year. This post is probably going to rile my people up so before I start I need to make it clear that there is nothing but love between us. I do not doubt that we love each … Continue reading A Little Bit Needy
Category: The Grief Diaries
My mum died December 13, 2017 at 1:10 a.m. This is me trying to carry on in a world where the love of my life no longer exists.
no tears left to cry by Ariana Grande
I first heard this song on Rick Dees but I never paid it much attention till I heard: We're way too fly to partake in all this hate We out here vibin', we vibin', we vibin' Comin' out, even when it's rainin' down Can't stop now, can't stop, so shut your mouth It was specifically … Continue reading no tears left to cry by Ariana Grande
Three Little Birds
On this day last year I ran my first half marathon and got my 11th tattoo. After the marathon I passed by the hospital to show my mum my medal. I then went home, had an Olivia Pope glass of wine and showered. Yes, in that order. I had not had any wine in November … Continue reading Three Little Birds
There’s Something About Seven
On this day last year my mum was admitted to ICU. Shit had hit the fan. It was the beginning of the end. Next month we will be marking one year without her. At the relatively young age of 30 I had to start learning to exist in a world the love of my life … Continue reading There’s Something About Seven
A Most Fucked Up Friday
On this day last year my mum was admitted to hospital for what would end up being her last hospital stay. Five years prior she had been diagnosed with stage four breast cancer the sunny afternoon of June 15 2012. It is one Friday I will never forget as our lives were changed immeasurably on … Continue reading A Most Fucked Up Friday
Trust My Lonely
I am lonely and alone. I first wrote down that statement in my blog notebook in 2014. My mum was desperately unwell that year, being admitted to hospital on a monthly basis. No one in my circle had a loved one that was also gravely ill. I felt like the universe had unfairly singled me … Continue reading Trust My Lonely
My Self By Myself
I need a place to be my self by myself. I first wrote that down in January 2015 when my mum was hospitalized for 20 days. Little has changed since. As I wrote in this post, there are currently two mes: before my mum died and after my mum died. What I would like to … Continue reading My Self By Myself
I Will Remember You by Sarah McLachlan
Remember remember the 5th of November... Now that we have gotten that out of the way, let us talk about this song by Ms. McLachlan. I was introduced to her music shortly after I finished high school and my melancholic self immediately fell in love. I cannot help it, I am drawn to pensive sadness. … Continue reading I Will Remember You by Sarah McLachlan
Hit The Ground Running
When my mum was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer on June 15 2012, she was given, at best, five years to live. Coming into 2017 I was prepared for any eventuality. It was also the year I turned the big three-oh. My 29th year was ridiculously nondescript, but when I think about it, it … Continue reading Hit The Ground Running
JS Kicking Cancer’s Ass
October is breast cancer awareness month. For me this month used to be about pink ribbons and the various gimmicks to raise awareness. Remember the one where you had to tweet just the colour of your bra with no explanation? That was fun. Then my mum was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer, and there … Continue reading JS Kicking Cancer’s Ass
Lwile the Leo 