That was legit my reaction as it dawned on me I had not been on a first date since August 2014.
Also, I love me a Dean Winchester GIF. I do not know what will become of me when Supernatural goes off air. That show is my happy place! But, I digress.
While I was aware I had not been on a date all of 2018 it was not until I started writing this post that it hit me the last time I was on a first date was four years ago.
After over three years in a relationship I became single in January and was looking forward to casually dating. Hence the creation of the Sex And The City category. But chilllleee the type of men I keep meeting … as I said, fuckboys are not my aesthetic.
Just before the year came to a close I went on my first first date in almost four years. This date had a number of firsts:
- First first date in over four years
- First date of the year
- First date with a white guy
- First date with someone I met on a dating app
Whew! So, let us get into it.
We met up at Brew Bistro on Ngong Road. He had never been to Brew before and was keen to try one of their beers. He ordered a Simpils while I opted for glass of wine. After the first round of drinks he asks if we can order dinner. I say yes and he proceeds to order a burger as that was what he was in the mood for. Now, the burger he ordered for is KES 850 which had me in a real pickle. I am someone who researches what I am going to order at the restaurant before I get there, right down to the side dishes and dessert. When I was looking at their menu earlier in the day I settled on the pork ribs which go for KES 2,450. So when he orders something for 800, ordering a meal three times his cost si form. Or is it? I cannot be too sure as I have not been on a first date in over four years but it just did not seem right. The restaurant kind of made the choice easier for me though as their menu is not as extensive as the other branches. So I settled on a burrito that goes for KES 1,250.
The date was okay but got rather awkward towards the end. Turns out he has an issue with spicy/greasy/fried food. He had seen a doctor about it, was given medication and told to watch what his diet. He had not had any issues in the two months he was watching his diet so he assumed all was well and ordered a burger and fries. As the saying goes, assumption is the mother of all fuckups.
It started with hiccups that grew progressively worse. He excused himself to use the bathroom and by the time he came back he was visibly in distress. He described it as something gripping his throat hard and he was having difficulty breathing. Luckily he had his medication with him but it still took time to work. He reluctantly asked for the bill, paid and called it a night. I walked in at 8 p.m. and by 9:30 p.m. the date was already over. That is the duration of a football game sans the halftime break and extra time. I had done my makeup (read powder, mascara, eye pencil and lipstick), put on a cute dress and heels so I was not about to leave just yet. Luckily Lavosti and Roots Connection band was playing there, which was such a beautiful surprise. I stayed behind and listened to them till about 11 p.m.
While he was respectful, kind and considerate, there was absolutely no chemistry. First dates with no chemistry feel like a job interview where y’all alternate between interviewer and interviewee. It was an okay first date. Not good, and definitely not great. I am looking forward to the next first date. Hopefully it will not take another four years. Lol.
I cannot end this post without saying it is 31/31!!!!!!!!!!!!! I fucking did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And I am so glad the last post is an SATC one. This category has been the most fun to write. Fuckboys Are Not My Aesthetic is easily my favourite of the 31. Writing it was fun AF. I have no plans to take on such a huge ass goal ever again though. It was fun but extremely demanding.