Kwaheri 2018

2018 has both absolutely flown by and been the longest year ever. On one hand it feels like just the other day when I was starting my new reality without my mum in January. On the other hand, Black Panther came out this year. Damn!

2018 has unequivocally been the hardest year of my life. I thought the years my mum was unwell were the hardest but I was so wrong. They may have been difficult but at least she was still alive. I was not prepared for how I would feel once I started to understand my mum is dead. I knew 2018 would be painful but I greatly underestimated the pain.

I think what makes 2018 the hardest year of my life are all the occasions I got to experience for the first time without the love of my life.

• New Year’s Day
• Her birthday
• Mother’s Day
• My birthday
• The “first” Christmas

Going through those major days for the first time without the person I love the most not being there was agonising. My birthday was the hardest of all as I learnt to love my birthday from my mother. Now I will never hear from her on my birthday ever again?!? I cannot wrap my head around that. Just thinking about it is too painful.

2018 has not been all sad though. Thankfully life does not work that way. I bought my first car this year! A white Mazda just like my mum’s first car. In February I went on my first wine tour with my bestie at the Morendat farm, home to Leleshwa wine. For a wine lover such as myself, it was easily one of the best days of 2018. I bought a bottle of their award-winning Sauvignon Blanc that I am saving for a special occasion. Maybe when I finally meet a guy who is not a fuckboy. Lol. Jk. Kinda.

As much as my birthday was hard for me it was also the moment I felt the most loved. My crew really came together to ensure the first birthday without my mum was bearable. They formed a group chat to organise everything. We went to Burger Hut for burger fest as my mum quite liked the restaurant. After that they indulged me with shots at Mollys before heading to Brew Bistro. By the time we got to Brew I had had 15 shots!!! It was such a fun night … what I remember of it anyway. Lol.

2018 is the year that gave us Migos’ Carpool Karaoke. If you have not watched it yet please do. It is hands down one of the finest moments from TV this year. I was hesitant to watch it at first because when you think Migos, singing with James Corden does not immediately come to mind. But it was absolutely amazing. I have watched it a few times now and it is my go-to when I am having a really shitty day at the office. Also thanks to them I can no longer listen I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston without ad-libbing and dabbing. Lol. Make the official remix already!!

This was also the year I went to Malindi for my birthday after going there for the first time four years ago. It was a week of sun, ocean, food and wine, so hands down the best week of 2018. I love the beach. It is unequivocally my most favourite place on earth. Plus there is something magical about Malindi. The last time I was there in 2014 I committed to some resolutions that I miraculously implemented immediately I was back in Nairobi. The resolve to stick to the resolutions had alluded me time and again, but after recommitting to them in Malindi that was it. I came back to Nairobi a new person. This year was not any different, with my blog being the biggest commitment I made there. After trying and failing at blogging before I am now consistently putting up a creative writing post every Wednesday.

2018 will go down as the year all the boys I had a crush on did not reciprocate. Very lol and boohoo at the same time right? Call Out My Name by The Weeknd was my jam.

I want you to stay (want you to stay)
I want you to stay, even though you don’t want me
Girl, why can’t you wait? (Why can’t you wait, baby?)
Girl, why can’t you wait ’til I fall out of love?

I would play it over and over again, singing really loudly as I “shared in his pain”. Lol. Fun times.

The most standout moment of 2018 is easily when I launched my blog on the last day of Leo season. After 2 ½ years of “blogging” I finally made it happen this year. The most fulfilling moment has to be when I came up with Lwile the Leo. I had spent months trying to come up with a name and it came to me late at night a few days after coming back from Malindi. Coming up with the category names and identifying the ideal template were also very fulfilling. The greatest yet toughest accomplishment of the year was 31 on 13. Those posts were so fucking many! It was quite the laborious task, especially as I had external accountability following the reputation party. It was a demanding goal, I smashed it, and I will likely never attempt it again. Lol.

With all that being said I am sooo excited for 2019. Not just because the workload is lighter post 31 on 13 (lol), but also because I have some really cool stuff planned for Lwile the Leo. If I do say so myself.

Here’s looking at you 2019.