Raha Jipe Mwenyewe

March 20 is the International Day of Happiness. The day was conceptualized and founded by philanthropist, activist, statesman, and prominent United Nations special advisor Jayme Illien to inspire, mobilize, and advance the global happiness movement. Since 2013, the United Nations has celebrated the International Day of Happiness as a way to recognise the importance of happiness in the lives of people around the world.

For anyone reading this who does not speak Swahili, the title of today’s post literally translates to “happiness you give yourself.” Which of course is not grammatically correct but it sure is fun to write and I am sure you get the gist of it. Raha jipe mwenyewe, a very fun phrase to say, illuminates the tried and tested fact, which is also the good and bad news, that you and you alone are responsible for your own happiness.

On this day in 2019 I put up Find Your Happy in which I wrote about my lifelong pursuit of happiness and how I finally found it after a lifetime of searching. Turns out there is no magic recipe for happiness as the secret to a happy life is to create one for yourself.

I went on to have an incredible nine months after that post and to date 2019 remains the best year of my life. But in the ensuing years since the best of year of my life I have only known moments, sometimes fleeting, of happiness and not holistic, lasting happiness. 2020 started off great as my now husband asked me to be his girlfriend four days into the year. But 2020 was the pandemonium year and with it came cracks in the happiness I finally found in 2019 (after searching for it literally my whole life), before it all came crashing down in 2021, leaving me lost in 2022 and 2023. I was excited AF for 2024 as the dates from March 1^st onwards mirrored those of 2019, only for last year to be both the best and worst year of my life. But hey, we make plans and God laughs.

I was planning to put up a standalone post today about being responsible for your own happiness, but I am still recovering from the best and worst year of my life. Because of 2024 I am currently on a quest to find my happy (again) therefore I do not have anything to say on the topic. At least not with any authenticity and authority. So I reached out to a few people – family, friends, colleagues, readers – and asked them to tell me what raha jipe mwenyewe means to them and how they incorporate the phrase in their daily lives.

Thank you to everyone who sent in their responses. They all moved me in one way or another and I definitely picked up a number of things that I will incorporate into my quest to find holistic, lasting happiness tiny pockets of happiness (something a couple of entries had in common).

So, without further ado:

To me, raha jipe mwenyewe means intentionally creating my own joy—both in life’s grand moments and in its quiet, everyday rhythms. It’s knowing that happiness isn’t something that just happens; it’s something I choose, cultivate, and protect.

I find joy in the laughter of my children and husband, in the peaceful escape of a good book, in a well-seasoned plate of great food, and in deep conversations with the people I love. Even when life throws challenges my way, I remind myself that joy doesn’t have to be extravagant; sometimes, it’s as simple as finding a reason to laugh at a funny meme.

Happiness is also about honoring my needs—taking time to rest, explore, and be present without guilt. That’s why this year, I’m saying yes to the things that make me feel alive: reconnecting with my passion for mental health advocacy, soaking in the peace of at least two beach trips, letting off steam with more coloring, and indulging in more spa experiences 🧖‍♀️🥰

For me, raha jipe mwenyewe is more than a phrase; it’s a daily practice, a mindset, and a love letter to myself. And if there’s one thing I know for sure this year, it’s that I’ll keep choosing joy—over and over again, unapologetically. “Jispoil, you are the prize G!” 😉
Kare

Raha jipe mwenyewe has literally been my guiding mantra through motherhood, helping me prioritize my own happiness while caring for my little ones. As a mom of two under two, I’ve learned the importance of stepping out of my caregiver role at times to pour into my own cup. No matter the circumstances, I always make time for things that bring me joy—whether it is cooking, reading, or treating myself to books (this is a whole hobby by itself), clothes, and shoes.
Edna

Be your number one source of motivation and inspiration. Find what makes you tick and do those things. Don’t wait for other people to give you the go ahead, make sure you are your first source of approval ✨
Hopie

I like finding happiness/joy in the simplest ways even if I am at a really bad place. I take random photos of myself, watch THE SUNSET AND JUST ENJOY the beautiful moment. I also like to look at the moon too while it is still up. My friends never understand why I get so excited by this, but we can’t all like the same things 💁🏾 I also love solo dates at new restaurants and jazzy music events!!
Fifi Fiona

I literally live by the phrase raha jipe mwenyewe almost every day, well sometimes to make bad decisions (😂😂). This phrase emphasizes that happiness comes from within, and only YOU can truly make YOU happy. The other things are just an add on to your ultimate happiness.

I try to live in the moment and derive small pockets of joy that bring happiness rather than working to be constantly happy by:

1. Trying out new restaurants with my lover
2. Enjoying a nice catch up sesh over Happy Hour or a phone call with my besties
3. ⁠Buying or receiving anything that smells nice and lush and vanilla-ish
4. ⁠Staying home and doing nothing “La Dolce far niente”
5. ⁠Pay day makes me happy ☺️
6. ⁠Doing my skincare routine

I incorporate raha jipe mwenyewe in my daily life to have a reality that we are here for a short time but a good time. So any chance you get to have a good time, and it isn’t offending anyone, go ahead and enjoy yourself!
Weezy

There’s a YouTuber who is influencing me very badly (expensively). She goes H.A.M on treating herself on her bday. So, I’m working on “justifying” my treats to myself. I especially like to do birthday adventures like one year it was scuba diving, another was a hot air balloon experience. As a new mother, of late I’ve really struggled to go things that are just for me but I recently took a big step forward and went on a girls trip outside the country to see John Legend live in Rwanda and it’s reminded me of life beyond being Mama Nani. Ukijipa raha mwenyewe, it refuels you and everyone around you benefits.
Vanessa

Raha jipe mwenyewe for me is mainly not underestimating the freedom of choice that I have over my life. I had been that person who cared what people think and how I should pre-package myself and opinions, now I come as I am and say it like it is (I am no longer running away from tough conversations) and honestly it’s liberating. I have also learnt the art of prioritizing self. If the mind is tired I rest, if it’s time to sleep, heck even drink, I do it and trust my ability to show up in other aspects of my life as a complete and happier person. In short I will get to it when I get to it dammit!!!!
Mercy

Raha jipe mwenywe to me simply means I control my own happiness and don’t have to seek validation from other people to fulfil my life. So much has changed since the post I shared in 2019. I have opted for self growth instead of career growth. I enjoy outdoor physical activities more than I thought I would. I’ve actually picked up a book….or 3 to read so far this year 😃 and I look forward to making it a regular habit. I’m also excited about the prospect of taking a long drive and unwinding whereas I always considered the idea of driving in the past to be a phobia. I realized that by being kind and discovering myself I have become open to new opportunities and experiences that I previously limited or restricted myself from. I have also learnt that it’s never too late to start something new because with the right mindset, we can achieve anything. Happy International Day of Happiness to you and may you always have the right mindset.
Aud

For me raha jipe mwenyewe is literally incorporating little pockets of happiness in my day to just forget my stressors for a bit. It could be a glass of sauvignon, some yummy pasta at a gorgeous restaurant, or literally just watching my favourite shows. I just look for or try my best to make tiny pockets of happiness. That’s how najipa raha.
Sophie (who btw is a FANTASTIC makeup artist. She did my makeup for my birthday in 2019, my birthday in 2023, my bachelorette party, my engagement photo shoot and my wedding. Her number is 0746 741872 so feel free to reach out if you want the BEST! FACE BEAT!! EVER!!!)

To me, raha jipe mwenyewe means taking care of myself and prioritising my overall wellbeing. It also means enjoying simple pleasures.
How I incorporate the phrase in day to day life:

• I read the Bible every day and also do daily devotionals on Youversion app. My faith journey is very important to me as I cannot imagine myself doing life without Jesus. 
• I self sooth by watching Netflix or YouTube. And I don’t care about taming my algorithm or watching what’s trending, especially with YouTube. Whatever I find interesting at the time, is what I’ll watch. I also like watching vernacular TV and it has really helped improve my vocabulary plus speech. 
• Sometimes I listen to music with my earphones on just to shut my eyes, shut out the environment and let my mind slow down. This has helped me especially when I’m experiencing anxiety. On the downside, it has led me to really focus on the lyrics of songs and consequently, I have purged a lot of songs from my rotation 😅.
• I’m slowly getting back to reading books. I’m one of those people who read multiple books at once because I get bored easily. 
• Watching reels and reading tweets 😁.
• Drinking copious amounts of tea. A friend once joked that one of the reasons I’m always late for meet ups is if it coincides with morning or mid-morning tea time. Lazima nimalize kunywa yenye iko, at home and not in transit 😆.
• Sleeping. I am fortunate that I don’t struggle with issues of sleep. Blue light doesn’t faze me. I will put on a YouTube video like an ASMR video, cleaning vlog, silent vlogs and slowly drift away. 

As for self development, currently, I am learning about different emotional management techniques because over the years, I have realized that I can’t rely on managing my emotions and feelings logically. It worked in my early adulthood because it could be excused as being self-absorbed and nonchalant but now as a full full adult, it can get tacky (when outbursts occur) plus create resentment because of bottling things up.
Janet N

Raha jipe mwenyewe to me means technically and spiritually to encourage oneself during times when nothing anyone else says or does can have an impact on your soul/mood/emotions. This translates to, for example buying myself something like wings, my favorite protein. On different occasions this has backfired, I have gone ahead to order wings only to find that not all wings are created equal and this then results in me resorting to another source of happiness for the day for example, meme videos. Recently Mike Muchiri’s posts on signage all over has been a pure source of entertainment. Now that the content was erased, I wish I saved those videos for the future 😓😩. There are videos which just make you cry with laughter and hit deep down in your soul. These two (https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMBrN8dnu/ https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMBrN1Fr2/) so far are my favorite because if something funny happens in real life I need to avoid eye contact or I’ll burst out laughing which can be awkward. At the end of the day, I believe one can choose or purpose to start by being happy alone and this looks different for each and every one of us out here.
Lynn

Raha jipe mwenyewe—joy is something I cultivate daily. Whether it’s catching up in the evenings with my two boys after a long day, getting my hands in the soil while tending to my garden, or simply pausing to watch birds flit through the trees, I find happiness in the little moments. Nature, family, and stillness remind me that joy isn’t something we chase—it’s something we create.
Nyokabi

To me, raha jipe mwenyewe means taking ownership of my happiness. Life gets hectic and overwhelming sometimes, and I’ve learned that I can’t always wait for others to make me happy or for circumstances to align perfectly. I have to be intentional about creating my own joy. It’s a reminder that I deserve to feel good, no matter what’s going on around me.

One way I’ve started practicing this is by carving out small pockets of happiness throughout my day. Sometimes it’s as simple as playing my favorite playlist while driving home or taking a few minutes to breathe and stretch my legs during a busy workday. Other times, it’s giving myself permission to take a break without feeling guilty, or celebrating little wins just because I worked hard for them.

Recently, I read “Make Time: How to Focus on What Matters Every Day” by Jake Knapp and John Zeratsky, and it really resonated with me. The authors talk about creating daily “highlight moments”—intentionally choosing one thing each day that brings you joy or fulfillment and prioritizing it no matter what. I’ve been trying to incorporate that mindset by picking something that will make me feel good each day, whether it’s cooking a nice dinner, calling a friend, or just having some quiet me-time when I’m home alone. It occurred to me, that I’m not a slave to anyone or anything, and everything in life is about balance.

Balance. That’s how I achieve my happiness. 

Living by raha jipe mwenyewe has taught me to embrace the little things and to be deliberate about my happiness. It’s not always easy, but it’s empowering to know that I have the power to make my own joy, no matter the circumstances.
Gracie

Raha jipe mwenyewe for me, especially right now is a 3 part, wait, 4 part series that includes loving myself a little harder by doing things for ME, setting boundaries without guilt, not waiting for a ‘big moment’ or permission to enjoy my life & not over explaining my happiness/ what makes me happy. Shoutout free will.

It dawned on me a few weeks ago (and honestly every other day nowadays) that I’m the vibe curator of my life, through boundaries & choices. I’d lived for so long in this bubble in my head, being a people pleaser and actually not enjoying the cheap thrills because, well they didn’t feel important enough. I’m glad I’m popping out of that bubble and into real life because despite it being hard to enforce some of these things, it’s damn satisfying knowing it made me happy even for the sake of it.
Wams

For the longest time, raha jipe mwenyewe felt like a cute phrase meant for people who had mastered the art of solo dates, booked those spontaneous spa days😂, and took themselves on vacations “just because.” Meanwhile, I couldn’t even sit alone in a restaurant without aggressively scrolling my phone to avoid looking like the Minister of Loneliness.

But life has a funny way of teaching you lessons, especially when you realize your friends will sometimes be busy, your paycheck sometimes can’t quite support the soft life you deserve 😮‍💨, and the waiter has asked, “Are you waiting for someone?” one too many times. So, I decided to become that girl – the one who enjoys solo road trips and takes herself out for ice cream just because.

Now, raha jipe mwenyewe means doing the things I used to wait for company to enjoy. It’s treating myself with the same love I give others, learning that solo dates don’t mean you’re lonely, and realizing that happiness doesn’t always come from grand moments – it’s in the small joys, like ordering the extra side of fries guilt-free.

At 25, I’ve realized that life is too short to wait for people’s schedules to align with my happiness. So, if you see me at a café, laughing at reels with an iced (caramel) latte in hand, just know ~ I finally figured it out & it’s been a long time coming 😇
Wanjiru

My slang for raha jipe mwenyewe is – tandika mkeka cinema itaunfold i.e. spread your mat and let things unfold. I’ve lived enough to know that I should let all the ships come to life without forcing issues. This starts from relationships, friendships, or any other ship 🤣 I give energy as received but mostly I let things flow because nikitandika mkeka cinema itaunfold. If there’s a vibe there is a vibe. I have been bitten once on a ship that meant a lot for me and we all know once bitten… yes. So why not deal with things that matter to me and give me happiness like my family, my personal space and other guilty pleasures. And let friends that want to join my band wagon to, relationships that are worthwhile I enjoy but mostly I tandika mkeka alafu cinema inaunfold.
PS. For sure I don’t let my finances unfold.
Sherine

Happiness
A nine-letter word that holds so much weight. I’ve been racking my brain trying to come up with my input but my girl Val advised me not to put too much thought into it as all I am to do is be authentic, that’s all. I tend to forget that happiness is subjective. In all honesty I don’t think I pursue happiness, as I am a firm believer that happiness is a butterfly. I stand to be corrected. I can go on and on as this is a very sensitive topic but I digress. So, without further ado, here is what I think raha jipe mwenyewe means to me

1. I am a huge melophile so best believe I am always in my element when I am blasting and sometimes dancing to my favourite music alone. Like Val here, I am a huge Swiftie so to me Taylor’s music means the world to me. Nothing beats the times I have screamed my lungs out with my fellow Swifties here in Nairobi. Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing makes me feel more alive 🥹❤️
2. Raha jipe mwenyewe can also mean getting that book that I badly want even if I’m short on finances because I believe that’s how I best treat myself (after always getting tickets for the Swifties events). The happiness that follows is totally worth it 🫠
3. Sometimes raha jipe mwenyewe to me can mean choosing to be left behind home when my family is going out so that I can have some Me time. Not weird right? I mean, I can’t put out a Vigilante Shit performance or go down on my knees while performing the Illicit Affairs bridge when everyone is watching anyway 😂

And now I’ve ran out of points. But that’s basically it for me. Oh making popcorn and rewatching your comfort shows also count for me. I may not know where my stance in happiness generally lies but I think it is all about finding joy in the little things, in the fleeting moments.
Tabby

To me raha jipe mwenyewe means choosing to create my own happiness in the little moments of everyday life. It’s about not waiting for anyone else to bring me joy but finding it in the simple things like my favorite music, a quiet walk or just being present with myself. Everyday I try to remind myself that happiness is something I can give to myself.
Yvette

For me raha jipe mwenyewe started from a phrase my former boss said: “happiness is an inside job” and from that I learnt to start to put myself first and my happiness is my business, anyone else in my life can only complement. Kama hupendi my self love “kaskie vibaya huko kwenu” 😅😅😅😅. If I am not happy the people around me will not be either. I have to ooze the energy I want to receive. I love me happy people 😁. That simple. And in turn that has greatly improved my relationships with the people near and dear to me ❤️.
Ziga

For me, raha jipe mwenyewe is all about choosing joy every single day—on my own terms! It’s about creating happiness for myself instead of waiting for it to come from external things (or people).

I do this by romanticizing my life—whether it’s sipping my morning coffee like I’m in a Parisian café, pouring myself a glass of wine after a long day (because, why not?), or buying myself flowers every month just because I deserve it! Sticking to my skincare routine like it’s a sacred ritual, or getting stronger at the gym because my dream body won’t build itself! It’s also about setting boundaries, chasing my dreams, and surrounding myself with love, whether that’s quality time with my boyfriend or family, deepening my friendships, or just vibing with good music after a long day.

And of course, travel! There’s nothing like exploring new places, experiencing different cultures, and taking in breathtaking views to remind me that life is meant to be lived fully. Whether it’s a weekend getaway or a big adventure, I make sure to feed my wanderlust because new experiences = new joy!

At the end of the day, happiness is a choice, and I choose me, every single time!
Tracy

PS: I also did contribution posts in November 2019 (World Kindness Day and X Is For XXX) that you can, and should, check out if you have never read the posts. Or if you would like a reminder for your mental and emotional (self-kindness 🫶) and sexual (XXX 😈) wellbeing.