July 30th is the International Day of Friendship. Declared by the UN in 2011, it was built on the idea that friendship between peoples, countries, cultures and individuals can inspire peace efforts and build bridges between communities.
Friendships are one of the most essential, but easily underappreciated, relationships in our lives. Friendship is not as celebrated as romantic love, or as institutionalised as family, but it is no less powerful. From boosting our mood to helping us live longer, research shows that friendship is not just a nice-to-have. It is a psychological necessity.
A 2010 meta-analysis of 148 studies found that strong social ties increase survival by 50%, a benefit on par with quitting a 15-cigarette-a-day habit and more predictive of lifespan than exercise or weight. Friendship enhances emotional resilience by regulating stress, reducing anxiety and depression, and lowering inflammation by releasing oxytocin and reducing cortisol. Studies of baboons show that those with the strongest social bonds live longer, regardless of status or reproductive history. Friendship is not optional, it is survival. Even in the wild.
I have written about this day thrice: in 2019 and 2020 when I spotlighted a thriving friendship, and in 2023 when I went in the opposite direction and wrote about my broken friendships. For today’s post I reached out to a few people—family, friends, colleagues, readers—and asked them to tell me what friendship means to them and here is what they said:
To me, friendship is a quiet kind of magic. It’s not always loud or showy. It’s in the little check-ins, the inside jokes, the feeling of being fully yourself around someone. It’s knowing that even when life gets messy, your people are still your people. The best friendships make you feel safe, seen, and free all at once.
Tracy
Friendship means being truly treasured for who you are. It’s built on kindness, openness, and a deep sense of connectedness that makes you feel seen and understood. Most of all, it’s knowing you’re safe in someone’s presence and free to show up as your full self.
Delphine
Friendship, for me, is about deep connection. The kind that doesn’t always need words. It’s understanding each other in silence, and showing up when it matters, even in the small moments.
It’s about listening — not to reply, but to truly hear. And of course, it’s about having fun, living life trying new stuff, laughing over inside jokes, and being fully yourself without judgment.
Real friendship is simple, quiet, and powerful — a space where you feel seen, supported, and free.
Sharon Muthembwa
Over the years, friendship has really evolved for me. It used to be about fun and shared experiences (and while those things still matter), lately I’ve found myself drawn to friendships that feel more grounded.
A few weeks ago, I stumbled upon a post online that deeply resonated with where I am in life when it comes to friendship. It read:
“The older you get, the more you crave friends who feel like rest.
Not performance.
Not competition.
Just mutual effort.
Shared joy.
Soft honesty.
You laugh deeper.
Heal faster.
And finally feel safe just being yourself.”
This truly hit home. ☺️
To me, friendship is about ease and safety. It’s about knowing someone sees you fully and loves you in that wholeness. It’s the kind of bond where you can sit in silence, cry together, or burst out laughing with equal comfort. It’s mutual vulnerability, showing up even when it’s inconvenient, and holding space for each other’s growth.
I value a friendship where I can share my victories, my losses, and my fears. One where I’m allowed to respond to texts when I can because you know, adulting 🥹, and where months without seeing each other don’t make things awkward, we simply pick up where we left off.
I love the friendships where we can be broke as hell but still meet for something simple. Where we can be spontaneous; jump on a video call just because we miss each other, even if adulting has made it hard to meet up in person. 😊
Friendship, in this season of my life, is peace 😌
It’s rest ☺️
It’s home 🏠
Kare
Friendship is optional, mutually beneficial, dignifying, assertive, supportive, encouraging, trustworthy, secure, seasonal and evolving over time.
I’m happy about the friendships that have stood the test of time.
I’m happy for the seasonal friendships that served both of us well and drifted off with little to no bad blood.
I’m happy with the renewed friendships that now show maturity in our adulthood.
Now I’m kinda open to making new friendships and not rushing through the getting-to-know-each-other stages.
Finally, I’m oddly at peace about the friendships that I’ve lost due to one reason or the other.
Have an introspective International Day of Friendship!
Janet N
Friendship means family and family means love, the greatest bond there could ever be 💕
Hopie
Friendship to me means choosing to be present, willingly and consciously, and having the ability to see others and to be seen for who we truly are. Who we are, I believe, changes over time. The extent to which we are present in friends’ lives also changes over time depending on different seasons of our lives. Ultimately, I believe friendship is wanting the best for others and others wanting the best for you, regardless of the versions of ourselves we are at any particular moment in our individual journeys of self discovery.
Lynn
Friendship means: Belonging, I am convinced it is where you get to be yourself with no hesitation as you are understood and backed up fully. Just so we are clear NO it is not blind spot, it is informed by a surplus of good will, truth and good intention. Ps-(It’s where you get to show your black or yt a$$) 😂😂
Mercy
Friendship is a personal bond that unlike family which we are born into, with friendship, we get to choose the people we want to have around us. It’s having people in your life who understand and accept you for who you are. You never have to try to impress them or be cool around them, you just have to be. Great friendships are those inner jokes that no one else gets, it’s picking up a conversation 2 or 3 months down the line as if no time has passed. Real friendship is not being judged, for your past or your present but having someone to always uplift you and be in your corner. True friendships withstand the test of time, like any relationship it has its highs and its lows but can overcome any and all obstacles. They say no one man is an island, I couldn’t agree more because in life, you always need that one friend at least to go through it with. That’s what friendship means to me.
Aud
To me, friendship is one of the most healing but also humbling relationships. It’s not always soft and cool and fun…sometimes it’s missed calls, misunderstood texts, life getting in the way, and awkward “hey, sorry I disappeared but I still love you” catch-ups.
But at its core is a decision. To keep showing up. To try. To apologise when you drop the ball. To learn each other’s silences. To hold space when the words don’t come out right.
Friendship is the group chat that revives your will to live, the “you home?” texts when you’re spiraling, and the people who somehow just know when your spirit is low, even when you’re still posting those funny Instagram reels.
It’s the safest version of “come as you are” I’ve ever known, the unfiltered, unfinished, in-progress you. And if I’m being honest, other than God, some of my friends have saved me more times than I can count.
Joy
To me, friendship is the greatest kind of love.
Nothing truly beats it.
Think about it — out of everyone in this wild, wide world,
we chose each other.
Chose to endure each other’s chaos,
love each other through the moods,
support each other in silence and in storms —
and still call each other out when we’re off track.
Friendship, when it’s real and healthy,
feels like every kind of love rolled into one.
It’s parental — tough love when you need it.
It’s sisterhood — cocktails, bad decisions, belly laughs.
It’s spiritual — quiet moments that say “I see you.”
With a true friend, there’s no need to perform.
No rules, no masks — just presence.
Because friendship doesn’t ask for much.
Just this:
Show up
As you are.
Messy, magical, real.
And let love grow from there.
And yes, I put very high value on friendships, maybe that’s why I have only a handful. 🙂🙂
“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.”
— Elbert Hubbard
Sheila
To me friendship means a lot…
Friendship means being there for one another, to lift each other, to challenge each other, to be our best selves, to be loyal to one another, to have fun together. Friendship is really a beautiful thing but without trust then the friendship would be meaningless.
Steph
Friendship to me is like happiness having different pockets, each filled by different friends. I have friends who know me inside out, and others who support my spiritual, financial, and career growth. What I cherish most is that we reciprocate support and energy. I know exactly who to turn to for guidance, encouragement, or a listening ear, and I’m committed to being there for them in the same way. It’s a beautiful balance of give and take, and I feel grateful for the diverse and loving friendships in my life.
PS. I don’t force my spiritual growth friends to be my party friends. I respect their boundaries 🫂❤️
Sherine
Friendship to me means feeling safe seen and accepted. No faking, no pressure. Just love the people who stick around when life gets messy and remind you who you are.
Yvette
Friend is an expensive word to me.
I personally know love exists, not because of the romantic partners that I’ve had so far, but because of the few people I get to call friends. That’s how much friendship means to me.
It means so many things but they are all rooted in the phrase “I’m always here for you and please know I never mind”
It’s true life can be emotionally abusive but it is also true that your friends can be your anchors, your strong forts that’ll help you sail through all storms of life.
It does hurt knowing that friendships are not sanctioned in the same way other relationships are (just quoted Val here lol, last year’s post 😂). Friendships require the same effort and watering romantic ones do.
As Georgia (from the show Ginny and Georgia) said, I believe you can get through anything in life if you have just one good friend. Blessed are those that have a handful of those. I’m thankful of mine throughout the seasons as I believe I’m a mosaic of everyone I’ve had the chance of calling Friend
Happy friendship day Everyone🫶🏽
T
Lwile the Leo 